all we can do is keep breathing

Being at bethel every day is so much more exhausting and wonderful than i could have ever imagined. it's been a hard week. the kids are naughty. really naughty. it's not just naughty but it's the kind of naughty that stems from broken families, unmet needs and brokenness in a community. it's hard sh*t. really hard. it makes me so angry, i've never been so angry. all of the time. how can we live in a world, in a society that allows entire major groups of people to slip through the cracks, or rather, tumble into the gaping holes we push them into? and it starts with me, and it starts with you. no easy answers. i wish racial reconcilliation was much easier, it's way more than just showing up, it's mutual. i don't know where to draw the line between acceptable and unacceptable because that line is so blurred by race, culture and socioeconomic status. i'm learning... baptism by fire, trial by error etc.


all we can do is keep breathing/

Minnesota Life

MMM... Tuesday morning, I need to take a shower, I need to get dressed, cup of coffee in the living room, nothing to do, favorite kind of day. I'm home but I still feel torn between home and Chicago home.

I wish I could just have a traveling entourage
to take everyone that I love with me all of the time,
to talk to
to protect
to love.
but maybe that's not my job,
my burden.
It's God's job to love her,
it's her job to find him.
instead of drinking alone each night
instead of spending one more night with her
instead of getting poison ivy on your fingers
The distance still makes my heart ache.
Conflict I can't fix
or avoid.
or understand.
Please bring me along for the ride.